“I trust that the universe gives me exactly what I need at exactly the right time. Everything works out perfectly.” (Own Your Awesome Affirmation Deck)
Two years ago I embarked on a journey that totally changed the course of my life. I decided to sign up for yoga teacher training. There was a lot unsure feelings surrounding this decision.
First of all, it would take up two full weekends of my time for a six-month long commitment. This was difficult because I was already stretched for time with a busy job and commute – weekends were the main time that my husband and I could spend together. However, I knew that I craved change in my life and also hoped to become more a part of something, a community, outside of just work.
Another set of feelings in regards to the decision came from second-guessing myself. I’ve always battled insecurities – who doesn’t – and I found myself internalizing that part of yoga culture that says you’re only a yogi if you have a certain body type and can stand on your head.
Both challenges were equally real at the time and equally important to work through. Ultimately, deciding to make the time for teacher training was empowering. And looking back, it’s clear that the choice to pursue it has led to me a place of WAY more freedom than I’ve ever had before. Deciding to face my fears about being good enough head-on gave me the confidence to trust my intuition and look inward for truth instead of everywhere else for validation.
In other words, it was exactly what I needed, at exactly the right time.
Almost a year ago, I was given the opportunity to teach a weekly flow class at One Down Dog, where I did my teacher training. I had only recently graduated and I remember being so nervous before every class. I planned my class sequences out carefully and wrote down the order of every asana in my notebook to reference during class. I would rehearse what I was going to say. I spent hours preparing playlists – sometimes I still do this because it’s fun!
Even though it was scary, it’s also exactly what I needed at that time in order to learn and grow as a yoga teacher. If I had waited until I thought I was ready, that day never would have come.
All of this has been on my mind lately because today I taught that class for the last time. My husband and I are moving to Austin in a week and I’m starting to wrapping up everything that was “life in Los Angeles.”
I will miss this flow class in particular because it was my first weekly class and there were so many people who would come regularly, week after week – a real community was forming. While leaving is bittersweet, I feel joy that my absence is creating an opening for another teacher to learn and grow.
The universe is apparently adamant about sending me to explore some new adventure halfway across the country. I’m taking things one breath at a time and trusting that it’s exactly what I need.